Life

Wow, it has been 1 year since I last blogged.  One full year.  There have been many many times I've wanted to update things, but just couldn't.  For one major reason.  I lost one of my readers.  You may think a few things like; big deal, one reader, or how would you even know you lost one reader.  Well, the reader I lost was one that was very very special to me, my daddy.  The first man I loved.  My earthly father.  My kids grandpa, or papa, which is what they called him.

On April 14th, 2012, just three days after my last blog post, my dad was here, at my house. We had fun, we had a bonfire in the back yard (which is hard to believe, cause right now we have 5 feet of snow back there) we roasted wieners, and laughed, and he was his usual self.  Considering he had open heart surgery in February, and had been suffering from depression.  He just changed, overnight.  We were all happy, and excited that he was getting back to his old self.  Then there was the phone call, "Ara, mom is driving dad into the hospital, meet us there"  What?!?  What do you mean? "She thinks he's having a stroke" Oh my gosh, are you serious.  No, this can't be. 

After arriving at the hospital, and assessing him, it was determined he was NOT having a stroke, but loss of blood flow to his leg.  Into surgery he went.  A simple surgery we all thought.  He'd wake up the next day, we all thought.  Nope.  The surgeon (whom I used to babysit for) came out at midnight to inform us that he in fact has Aortic Dissection.  Very serious.  And not a very good chance of survival, but still a chance.  Having JUST had open heart surgery in Feb of the same year, there was NO way for them to fix this.  They told us that he would die from this, they also told us that he could wake up and live with this, some cases have.  So they told us to wait.  They would try waking him in a few days. 

A few days turned into a week, a week on sleeping meds, a week in a coma.  As they started to take him off the meds to keep him sleeping, they told us he would wake within minutes, or up to an hour. Well, after an hr passed, they seemed pretty worried, as were we.  He wasn't waking.  Over the next few days we could see signs of him hearing us, he would respond to us asking him to blink (his eyes were closed, but they would 'blink' without opening).  We saw his fingers move, and some even felt a slight squeeze.  But it wasn't to be.  We waited 4 more days for him to wake up and after 12 days of living at the hospital the news came.  They did an MRI and it showed very little to no brain activity.  In other words, he was basically brain dead.  We could keep him on life support, have him be in a wheel chair for the rest of his life, never knowing really if he would ever wake up, or we could take him off life support and say our goodbyes.  We knew dad didn't want to live that way for the rest of his life.  We knew he'd be in a better place.  The decision was made, and on April 25th, 2012 at about 8pm in the evening, my dad took his last breath on this earth with all his family by his side.  It was the most horrible thing I have ever witnessed.  But maybe at the same time the greatest thing I've ever witnessed, his body passing from this earth into our heavenly fathers arms.  I'm not quite convinced it was the greatest thing I've ever witnessed, cause I don't ever want to do that again.   

He was a faithful reader of my blog.  He was always a supporter of our decision to home school.  He loved his grandchildren so much.  He had a passion for antiques, and had a good eye for spotting a unique piece of artwork.  He loved God, and was know to often ask his customers if  "they had their spiritual bags packed"  He did!  I could go on.  I am so thankful to him for my life.  There are so many things I could list about him that I am thankful for. I miss him like crazy!!  Life is so different when there is a piece of your heart missing.  And you don't know what it feels like until you lose someone very close to you, I learnt that lesson for sure.  I am so sorry to all those who have lost a loved one, and I wasn't there for you, or I never called you to let you talk.  And to all those in the future, cause it will come, when you lose a loved one, please call me to talk.  Please have Jesus in your heart, without him, I do believe I wouldn't be able to sit here and type this out, and do all that I have done in the last year.  Get your spiritual bags packed so that you know if you should pass away, you will be in heaven with the ones you love.  Another thing that I have learned from this, I am no longer afraid to die.  I used to be.  But now I'm not, because I have someone there waiting for me!!  And I can't wait to see him all healthy and healed and whole! 

Gone too soon, William Gustav 1947-2012

Forever will be missed

I love you

I wanna be *THAT blogger

I wanna be that blogger who blogs every day, I do, but then I think, really?  No one cares about your life to read about what you have to say everyday.  Ya, great conscience eh?  Anyways, I don't have a whole lot to write about, so I thought I'd do a list of 5 6 things you may not know about me:


1. I'm incredibly shy. Yep. One on one, I'm ok, still incredibly self conscience, and always thinking did I say the right thing? Was I inconsiderate, Did I ask enough questions in return, Did I show interest in what they were saying?  But larger groups of 3-15+ I will rarely speak unless asked a question.

2. I married my first boyfriend, when I was 18.  Oh ya, and he is 6 years older than me, and the love of my life next to Jesus!!  And this summer we celebrate 17 yrs of wedded bliss!!

3. I always wanted 6 kids.  But having 4 c-sections prevented that, and I am happy and blessed with my 4 and am looking forward to what the future holds for their lives. I love kids!! They are so precious, and innocent and adorable. Teenagers on the other hand, are a total different breed (mine anyways).

4. I would love to volunteer for everything if I could.  But see #1.

5. I struggle with my weight. If you know me IRL (in real life) this one is obvious, but I have struggled since I was about 12 or 13. Finding time to exercise, and then sticking with it is a struggle.  I like exercising, and I am somewhat good with knowing portion sizes and healthy eating (knowing and following through are totally different),  I read something on Twitter the other day that I'm still processing. Showing your kids that you care about taking time for yourself to be healthy is one of the best things you could teach them.  I wish I could quote whoever wrote this, but I have mommy brain*.

So, there are 5 things, and I struggled coming up with the last 2.  And maybe you knew those things about me and maybe you didn't, and now do, but I'm just like everyone else, with feelings and concerns, joys and sorrows. 

I thought of one more, at the last minute, that not many people know about me in fact, I don't think ANY of my friends know this one.....this one is tough to write about....

6. I almost committed suicide when I was a teenager. There were a few occasions I found myself in the basement bathroom of my home with a razor in my hand thinking how much pain I was in with constantly getting teased about #5 and #1 didn't help, and having a skin condition (psoriasis).  How I didn't want to live anymore...but as a new christian (like a year) I heard God speak to me (and this is where I lose it).  He told me, straight out, "Wait till you see your husband and children".
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

God is Good, ALWAYS!!

Until next time, which probably won't be tomorrow.... Ara

*mommy brain is a condition whereas after you have kids, somehow your brain just stops working!   

Huh...

It's been a while, I've kinda let my blog go....my life has, um, kinda changed, and really hasn't left much time for blogging, let alone anything else.  I still check others blogs, but find no point in updating mine.

The kids and I started paper routes, I started mid September, and the kids started after thanksgiving. It's been a huge change.  I am a night owl, and am not a morning person, since I've been married, there was rarely EVER a time when I was up before 6.  In fact, I could probably count on one hand, 3 times, the 3 scheduled c-sections I had, I'm sure I was up at 6 or before.  So to say it has been an adjustment would be an understatement, I am still adjusting.  Although, I hate to say this, and can't believe it is about to come out of my mouth  fingers, I think I am getting used to it, and kinda liking it.  No, I am liking it.  It is so nice to be out at 5:30 every morning when the city is silent, well, almost.  The biggest adjustment I think will be will be camping, or being able to just up and decide to do something.  We have two routes to find people to do for us if we go away.  I'm already stressing.  Anyone offering??

Here are a few things, in point form, that has happened since last post:

• Noah played his first year of Regina Minor Football, and did well, team made it to the semi finals.
• We had a fabulous fall, with winter only coming in December, making for a first winter delivering papers a breeze!
• We slept in our trailer on December 17th, 2011, the day before my family Christmas, oh ya!!  It snowed the next morning!!
• Oldest turned 14, New Year, and 2nd Christmas here, all in one weekend!!  That was crazy! 
• Son turned 12, and had his first job shoveling snow for our neighbour while they were in Texas for the winter.  He got off easy for the most part!
• My dad had a routine test done to check his heart, only to find that he had major blockage, and needed to have open heart surgery immediately.  Thank-you God!  Recovery was scary, but he's doing good!! 

I don't know if I missed anything....if I did, maybe I will share another time.  I will leave you with a few family photos from my family Christmas.

 The whole gang, 21 of us!!

 Hubby and I, 17 Christmas' together!!

The 6 of us, playing in the snow!!  :-)

Summer Lovin'

I'm not a summer lover...but this year I've been really enjoying it, crazy I know.  We've had great weather, with some great storms mixed in with it all, love me a good storm (minus the wind).  We haven't camped a ton, but we did a good stretch in June, and here and there in in July, and the long weekend in August was a blast.  We have a few more trips planned coming up including a couple nights for our Anniversary (which is 16 yrs this month).  I told someone that we were going without the kids, and I mentioned that I thought it was going to be, I don't know, weird.  And she laughed and said "Ro man tic??".  I laughed!

Well, our son started Football this year, his first year at it and he's starting out in Pee Wee, rather than Atom because of his weight.  Atom is where he should be, because of his age, but, his weight made him go up a level.  Praying he does well as he is playing with some kids who've been doing it for 3+ yrs.  There are 3 or 4 others on his team who are playing for the first time this year as well, including 1 girl. So I do feel a little better that he's not the only one.

I am always on the wrong computer for uploading pictures...argh!  I have a really good one of him...lets see if I can find it on my twitter.  Here is a link to a picture, I hope it works.

VBS week here at our house, busy times, up and out the door by 7:35 because I am helping with childcare!!  I also have my nieces here this week, as well as my sister is here with 2 of her 3 kids.  It's a really long morning, but it's fun, and if I take have my coffee, and vitamins in the morning, it's all good!!  :) If I survive the week, maybe I will get around to blogging again...haha   

Saddened, but understanding

Today, I had to return an item to Wal-Mart that I bought yesterday because last night I realised I over spent, and ironically, our account was going to go over drawn if I didn't return these two items that I didn't really NEED.  So I get to customer service after receiving a return item sticker upon entering Wal-Mart.  There were two ladies ahead of me, with two babies, and I heard the tail end of the conversation, something about them (meaning walmart) not being able to accept returnable items without the sticker you get when you come into the store (which I got) with an item to return.  The ladies proceeded to complain a little, and leave.  Whatever right, never gave it a thought till I left, and saw these two ladies walking to their vehicle....carrying only the babies...no item.  The item they tried to return wasn`t in their possession, which made me come to realise, they tried to return and item they didn`t even buy.  I`ve heard it happen before, but this was the first time I had actually seen it happen.  Truly sad...but I totally understand.....money is everything a family needs to get by, and at times, around here at my house, things have been tight, and on occasion, our account has had to go over drawn, just to get by, but thankfully not by much!!  God provides for all our needs, and we are very blessed with the job my hubby has, and very thankful for EVERYTHING, including over drawn bank accounts....a bible verse I read today via my twitter account -"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future" Proverbs 31:25 credit from (in)courage.  I wanna be the `she` mentioned in this verse!!  Without God in our lives I`d surely be a wreck!  (and I am a tad bit uncomfortable sharing these parts of my life, but sometimes need to realise that others who may be in a similar situation, need to know its not just them, I know that it helps encourage me to know others have similar struggles, and could use prayer)

Trailer

A Little Tour of our Trailer. 

This is what we woke up to the first night we had it home, April 15th, we slept in it that night and woke up to this!  Which is actually a dream of mine, to wake up to a little layer of snow, didn't think it would happen the first night we had it home, in April. 

The front area, the bed lifts up for more storage.  We have since added some memory foam to make a more comfy sleep.

The view you see from the door as you walk into the trailer. That cupboard is my little pantry.

The U shaped dinette, we bought a high stool from IKEA for the end so we all fit! (my lovely model, Breanna, who you will see in a few pictures)

The view from the front bed into the back, there are 3 bunks back there, two width wise and 1 on the other side of the fridge going the length of the trailer.  The bottom bunk lifts up and there is a door back there on the "driver" side to bring along bikes if we wanted to. Or it could be used as an escape if trying to get away from a big brother, and not realizing both doors are locked, and locking the keys inside the trailer. (cause that happened) 

The view from the back into the front.  The door to the left is the small bathroom.  And of course the main reason to getting the new trailer is there on the right, the BIG fridge!!  :)



Very small bathroom.  That alarm clock isn't there anymore, just for the first night.  Breanna had a bath in it while we were camping the May long weekend.  It was cute, but I can't see us doing that very often, it was fun though, and I sure wish I had this trailer when we started camping 7+ years ago.  Breanna was 1 and slept in the playpen in our tent.  It was fun though, and we have lots of memories from that trip!





The screen door we use at night if we I want to read before bed.

Tight fit in the front driveway, but there is still room to park on the other side and lots of room in front of the hitch. 

I can see us using this well after the kids have grown as well, the bunk area I already have an idea to change that into a couch or a lounging area...bet you didn't even notice it doesn't have a couch!?!  Ok, maybe you did...we sacrificed a little.  But I don't care, we spend the majority of our time out doors anyways.  Anyone wanna go camping with us??? It's ok if you don't, we will still go ;)